(0-1 last week, 8-8 on the season)
Cleveland Browns (-180) over the Pittsburgh Steelers
Two desperate teams and bitter rivals square off on a cold night after a rainy weekend has likely turned the perpetually-chewed-up Heinz Field turf into a bog. The Steelers have homefield advantage and a crowd who’ll be treating this primetime game like its last chance to see Ben Roethlisberger — probably because it certainly sounds that way:
Ben Roethlisberger won’t speak in definites, but he says “all signs” are pointing that “this could be it” his last game — at least regular season — at Heinz Field. pic.twitter.com/9jlhR99Kty
— Brooke Pryor (@bepryor) December 30, 2021
Ah, dammit. Alright, let’s switch it up.
Pittsburgh Steelers (+145) over the Cleveland Browns
Pittsburgh has a ton of issues in 2021. Roethlisberger can’t make plays downfield. The offensive line stinks. The defense has plummeted like daily fantasy provider stock.
The Browns have issues of their own, including a limited quarterback and the lingering feeling the football gods have only built them up in order to shatter their fans more brutally and effectively (which would explain the Covid-19 outbreak that turned what would have likely been a pivotal win over the Raiders into a loss in Week 15). What better way to twist the knife than to lower their slim playoff chances — and keep the Steelers’ alive — with a Week 17 loss? How else could a season that started with this kind of irrational confidence:
possibly end for Cleveland?
Picking the Steelers isn’t an indication of their talent or ability, it’s an acknowledgement of the swirling systems about to set down upon western Pennsylvania and unleash a perfect, disgusting storm of garbage. The Browns are the better team. They should win this game. But nearly every off-field factor seems to be working in Pittsburgh’s favor.
Well wait, except the one where Myles Garrett may have kinda/sorta told us he plans to physically disable Ben Roethlisberger.
“I’ll do whatever I can to ensure Ben Roethlisberger is playing his last game ever at Heinz Field Monday night.”
-Myles Garrett pic.twitter.com/f9qdInsb8e
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) December 30, 2021
Crap. Can’t bet against a ritualistic murder.
Cleveland Browns (-180) over the Pittsburgh Steelers
No, no, won’t do it. Garrett is only one man. One man who could have five sacks Monday night, but it would be an extremely Cleveland situation for one All-Pro talent to shine while the rest of his team collapses around him. That was basically the crux of Joe Thomas’s whole career.
Let’s flip it again.
Pittsburgh Steelers (+145) over the Cleveland Browns
Yeah, that’s the ticket. Besides, who am I to tempt the football gods? I’ve seen what they’ve done to the Browns. I’m good.
